


king of the toads

by glundergun (cleardishwashers)



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Gen, High School, nothing specifically stated, this references uncle jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleardishwashers/pseuds/glundergun
Summary: charlie spends some time by a stream.happy birthday jenna ily and i hope you like it!
Relationships: Charlie Kelly & Mac McDonald & Dee Reynolds & Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	king of the toads

Charlie’s not sure how he got here. The distance between his house to the stream is long, with intersections and detours and weird pedestrian bridges scattered all over it, but somehow he’s managed to make his way through every obstacle. He looks down at his feet, and they seem kinda twisted with the water running over them like it is.

He wonders, for the millionth time, how much longer Mac’s stint in juvie’s gonna be. Charlie told him,  _ don’t do it, cops sniff out heroin like it’s cheese, _ but Mac had just looked at him and said  _ what the hell does cheese have to do with it? _

(Rats, obviously. That’s the connecting factor.)

He could go to Mac’s house anyway, ask Mrs. Mac to let him in and let him stay, but with Mac out of the house she’s got no competition for the beer in the fridge, so she’s probably passed out on the couch. He could go to Dennis and Dee’s house, too— except no, he can’t, because they’re on some stupid holiday to Europe or something.

He wonders what Europe is like. If the people look the same, or if they have three heads and four eyes and five dicks or something. Dee’s taking French, and before she left she taught him how to say  _ my name is Charlie Kelly. _ It’s pronounced something like jet-me. Dennis is taking Spanish, and he and Dee get into arguments about which one is better to learn all the time. It doesn’t matter anyway, because they’re going to Germany and nobody knows French  _ or _ Spanish there.

Nobody really knows French or Spanish here, either. Uncle Jack says he knows Latin, but Charlie doesn’t want to learn Latin from him.

He thinks of Uncle Jack’s battered leather suitcase sitting in the hallway at home, and he shivers.

Something croaks by his feet, and he looks down to see a toad hiding in a patch of grass. “Hey, buddy,” Charlie says, bending down and scooping it up. It croaks again, and it hops up to sit on his shoulder. Its skin is a mottled brown-green, blending in almost perfectly with Charlie’s jacket. “What’re you doing, huh? You foraging? ‘Cause I like to forage too, y’know. Except I think you like bugs more, and I like shiny shit more. I dunno, I guess I’m kinda like a crow, y’know, in that respect. And you, you’re obviously— well, you’re a toad.” He narrows his eyes at it. “Are you gonna give me warts?”

The sun sets quickly, even though the school year just started, but Charlie gets to meet a lot of the toad’s toad friends. Maybe there’s even some frog friends in the mix, but Charlie’s not an expert in frogs. He likes birds a lot better, seeing as they’re smart and adaptative (or something like that— he’s only heard Dennis say the word once or twice) and they can fly away whenever they want. Then again, birds eat frogs, and he’s not really a fan of eating frogs. They’re much better company than humans are. Sometimes he thinks he’d rather hang out with the frogs and the snakes and the rats than Mac and Dennis and Dee, but then someone will do some stupid, stupidly fun shit and Charlie will be reminded that frogs and snakes and rats aren’t the best friends for every situation. They can’t save him from going back home like the rest of the Gang can, but they can keep him company until he has to leave.


End file.
